somebody snuck up and got me drunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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