is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just forgot I was standing up.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
