girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
