i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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