I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
