That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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