How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
