let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
