i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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