winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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