At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
