and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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