i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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