i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
