I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
