i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
