just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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