You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
