So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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