could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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