We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
