Your tits are I can't wait for
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
