Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
