So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
