You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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