I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
