Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
