yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
