there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
