I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
