So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
