I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there was a trapeze. enough said
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
