You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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