we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize