it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Randomize