There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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