Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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