Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
