The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
