so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
