never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
