Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
