i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
