Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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