First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wear drunk well.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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