cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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