the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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