wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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