I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
