Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
