Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
