dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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