so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
