A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
