at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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