At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The air taste purple.
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