i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
