She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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