I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
