Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
