She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
