Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize