there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
