you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
