can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
