Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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