I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
