whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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