and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
