i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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