Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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