nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
