I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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