He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
