I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize