fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
