Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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