so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
