she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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