she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We got so high we made milksteak
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
