Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
