Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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